How to Deal with Difficult Neighbors Finding a Reasonable Solution

How to Deal with Difficult Neighbors

 As an attorney and an apartment dweller, Michelle Freudenberger had seen it all  and more when it comes to living with difficult residents.  

 “I lived next door to twin toddlers whose parents were both attorneys,” says Michelle, who in addition to being a real estate attorney is also a member  of the national Association of Real Estate Women. “They took turns sleeping late and brought the kids to the kitchen early. Every  morning, one child screeched at the crack of dawn.”  

 Wanting to keep peace, and understanding parenting challenges, she didn’t complain to the neighbors until one morning that was the last straw. She had  been suffering with a bout of the flu and finally fell asleep around 4 a.m.,  only to be awoken once again by a screaming child. “I was banging on the walls out of desperation, but the father screamed back ‘get used to living in an apartment!’” she says.  

 Can't We All Just Get Along?

 The reality is that while most co-op and condo buildings or HOAs will from time  to time deal with this situation: either a noisy neighbor, a chronic  complainer, or someone who habitually breaks house rules—Michelle and her other neighbors do not have to just ‘get used to it.’ Steps are typically outlined in the bylaws that residents, management and the  board can take to effectively solve problems regarding objectionable tenants  and turn a negative into a positive atmosphere.  

 Easier Said Than Done

 It’s human nature to complain but the top complaints from people living in close  quarters at a co-op or a condo most often include noise, smoking and cooking  smells, leaving belongings in shared hallways and vestibules, stealing laundry,  and leaving exterior doors unlocked or ajar. Leaving a bike or a pile of toys  outside your neighbor's door is a pretty clear-cut violation of their personal  space, but because the concepts of 'noise' and 'disruption' are so subjective,  dealing with them is somewhat trickier.  

 Judge William Huss, co-author of Homeowners Associations and You: The Ultimate Guide to Harmonious Community  Living,(Sphinx Publishing; 2006), describes when a vocal tenant morphs into an ‘objectionable’ one. Simply put, “when the person who is complaining interferes with the normal atmosphere of the  association’s activities.”  

 As many of us know, what is considered normal is in the eye (or ear) of the  beholder, so dealing with conflict is not as easy as it sounds. Simple—but not always easy. There are many approaches to problem-solving with a  difficult resident, depending on the nature of the problem. Most pros agree  that solving neighbor-to-neighbor problems should generally start between the  neighbors themselves.  

 “The first step is to try and have a conversation with them, not in the heat of  the moment, but at a time when everyone has cooled off,” says Chicago-based attorney Jill Tanz, who is a professional mediator. She  believes that calm and collected conversation is the first remedy to conflict.  Residents can even turn to the management to act as an informal mediator, she  says. In either case, the conversation should focus on the specific problem,  triggers and solutions.  

 “I think what you want to look at is exactly what it is about the behavior that  is causing the disruption. Is it the time? Is it the volume? Is it a pet? What  is the problem? And then try and come up with like ways in which it can be  resolved, so that those neighbors can live their life with as little disruption  as possible,” Tanz explains. “For instance, if the problem is a dog, perhaps it can go to obedience training  or be kept in a different part of the house.”  

 Conversations don’t always lead to solutions. One of the most famous examples of this is referred  to in New York legal circles as “the Pullman case,” which was decided in 2003. This involved a shareholder at 40 West 67th Street,  a bond trader named David Pullman. Shortly after he moved into his co-op, he  allegedly began complaining loudly and often about his neighbors and certain  members of the board, and is claimed to have altered his apartment without  authorization. He filed noise complaints against an older couple living  upstairs from him, sent multiple, strongly-worded letters to board members and  management, and filed at least four lawsuits against various neighbors in the  building.  

 The board countersued calling him an objectionable tenant and in 2000, voted to  terminate Pullman’s lease. A decision in 2003 found in favor of the board by virtue of the  business judgment rule. This landmark ruling now allows boards of directors to  determine if a resident shareholder’s conduct is “objectionable” and can lead to termination of their lease.  

 Go to the Books

 The bylaws and rules of your building or HOA can also reveal the correct  timeline in addressing noise or routine disruptions in your condo or co-op.  Managers stress that it’s important to not only follow the rules but pay attention to the timing so that  the matter can be dealt with in a timely fashion. Turning to the bylaws can also help remove any personal baggage from the  situation. “Try to find the impersonal rule that can be applied more objectively, and [the  resolution] may be more peacefully accepted than just 'you're bothering me,' ” says Tanz.  

 Such was the case in Freudenberger’s situation, when her neighbors abruptly moved after being cited repeatedly for  not complying with the condo's rule mandating that 80 percent of their floors  be carpeted to muffle noise.  

 Stepping In

 In cases where moving isn’t really an option for either party, yet one resident’s behavior is upsetting his or her neighbors’ ability to enjoy their residences peacefully, it’s the primary responsibility of the board and management to look into and  resolve the problem once a unit owner has initiated a complaint. How the board  acts will depend largely upon what’s laid out in the community’s bylaws.  

 When the board gets involved, it’s their duty to residents to act on their behalf and investigate the problem.  Management pros recommend that boards and management conduct their own internal  investigation to determine the depth and legitimacy of the problem.  

 Should this be ineffective, the board could also hold a public hearing in order  to gain input on how to proceed with the case. “A board hearing to consider fines and other sanctions is a perfect vehicle for  board and owner dialogue about the problems and offensive behavior.” Another option residents and management have is to hire an outside mediator to  do the job. Although this is a lesser-known and utilized approach, it may prove  beneficial, especially when resolution is far in sight.  

 “There are party mediators that can come in and help have a conversation and use  skills that your typical property manager or your typical neighborhood service  has not been trained to do and may be able to resolve the situation,” says Tanz. “There are community mediation services that provide free services in many areas  or you can hire a commercial mediator who may very well be able to resolve the  situation without you having to consider legal action.”  

 The Nuclear Option

 Even seasoned professionals regard litigation as the option of last resort.  

 “The board and management have to be peacemakers,” says one manager. “If lawyer’s letters are involved, it’s going to cost the building money. If the case is won by the board, the  shareholder or the unit owner has to pay the legal fees. If the case is not  won, the building gets stuck with legal fees—and the building doesn’t want to do that.”  

 If your board has tried negotiating, mediating, and friendly-but-firm directives  to get a problem resident to change their disruptive ways is to no avail,  voting them out of the building community as happened in Pullman, may be the  next—and final—step in solving the problem. And if an association board can show that they  followed their own rules and acted according to their fiduciary and  administrative duty to their community, chances are the courts will defer to  the board's judgment on behalf of their residents.  

 In the end, dealing with a disruptive, unpleasant, problem resident is hard on  everybody—both the disruptive resident’s neighbors, as well as the association board and building management. That  said, neighbors, boards and management, who work together to resolve problems  efficiently and effectively will find that most residents do not really want to  cause problems—they just want to have their complaints heard and remedied.    

 Lisa Iannucci is a freelance writer and a frequent contributor to The  Chicagoland Cooperator. Editorial Assistant Maggie Puniewska contributed to  this article.

 

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Comments

  • How do I deal with a perfectionist of a neighbor? He not only picks up every twig in his yard but takes it upon himself to throw everything on my yard that lands in his.